The title of this post might make it seem like this was no big deal.
Just another breakthrough.
But that would be misleading.
It was (and is) a very big deal indeed.
You see, it opened my eyes in a big way.
There was nothing truly remarkable about the day, that I can remember. It was last Tuesday. Something someone had said to me a few weeks earlier kept running through my mind. It was on my heart in a way that kept me wondering what they had meant.
You see, this person had made a comment about feeling me pull the energy away from a project we had been discussing. I had been letting them know that I didn’t currently have the money to invest in the project that we had been discussing.
It was true that I didn’t have the money in hand.
It was also true that I didn’t want to be tying up their business resources when I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain.
That little comment kept coming up for me, surrounded by curiosity about what it actually meant.
That Tuesday I followed the little nudge that suggested I reach out and ask what they had meant.
The conversation that unfolded led to one of the biggest breakthroughs of my life.
It wasn’t really that what was said was new or different.
It wasn’t that there was some super secret information revealed that I had never had access to before.
It wasn’t that the person I was talking to knew things I didn’t (although it is entirely likely that is possible).
It was that I was open and receptive to the learnings that were available to me in that moment.
I recognized in that moment that I HAD pulled the creative power out of that project. How? I had become so focused on the money (or lack of it) that the energy I was directing was no longer about building something amazing to offer the world. Instead I was directing all of my creative energy at reinforcing the lack of money. I was saying to the universe that there was no way this project was going to happen because I was incapable of paying for it.
I became aware of the fact that I had all of that energy at my disposal. I saw the power we all have within us. And I recognized that many of us are using that power to create exactly what we do not want, just as I was in that instance.
I truly am an all powerful, divine, creative being. And so are you.
I realized I had been giving that power away by expecting someone else had all the knowledge, answers, tips, tricks, and secrets and that if I could just learn the right combination of things all the wonders of the universe would open to me.
I had been allowing my feelings of doubt, fear, lack, and unworthiness keep me from stepping into my power. I wasn’t willing or able to declare what I desired, to own who I was, and to speak from that authentic place.
I was as afraid to succeed as I was to fail.
I wasn’t willing to trust myself and my power.
Sure, I was sharing authentically, but not the fullest expression of me. I was dimming down my message and what I was offering the world.
I’m done with that.
Some people won’t like me. Some people will think I’m nutty. Some people will question my motivations. Some people will be too scared to play full out with me. And that’s ok.
I owe it to myself and my soul tribe to share the fullest expression of me.
And so do you.
You have everything you need inside of you too. We all do.