I have been thinking a lot about guilt and fear and their role in my life over the past few weeks. My conclusions:
Fear keeps us from believing we can do something.
Guilt keeps us from believing we deserve it.
And neither of those things serve us in living our best life and being the best kind of human we can be. They both have a purpose in the short term…fear keeps us safe, guilt keeps us from repeating mistakes. But over time as we hold onto them and let them pile up their initial usefulness is distorted. They become anchors around our necks. They keep us from growing. They dim our light and push us to be less than we are.
Holding onto the guilt and fear serves no one.
I used to think that it was cowardly to forgive myself and release the guilt because who was I to decide it was ok? Who was I to say I had tortured myself for something I felt I had done wrong? But I realized that this stubbornness to continue to torture myself was hurting others. I couldn’t be the best version of me in my relationships when I was holding the guilt between us like a sword or shield.
Two of the most transformative things I’ve done on my journey was:
- learn to forgive myself and let that shit go
- push through the fear and do it anyway
So I implore you…find a way to release the anchors that bind you…
If you are interested to hear a little more about what I found worked for me I’m happy to share.
Love to you all…mwuah!